Sad

I feel like the distance between us is getting worse in a way not better. I know there are so many hormones going thru me, but he told me that he feels it too. I mean we don't do things together and now that I'm thinking about it...we truly don't do things together.

OUCH..

Today was pretty good! I was able to chill out with a good friend. I dyed her hair and re-twisted her locks for her, we also watched this crazy movie called Case 28..or was it Case 29..which ever it was crazy. The girl was so evil! It just freaked me out and I so need to keep praying over my baby EVERY SINGLE DAY! I mean just things happen and I just want a healthy baby.

She's already getting pretty strong. I can feel her movements more and when she kicks..OMG..she kicks!! :) But my sciatic nerve pain was so intense that I couldn't even go to work today. I had to call in and just stay at home. I felt so bad because I had to leave m

y co-worker hanging, but she'll understand. My hip was in so much pain, that I feel at my boyfriends house trying to go to the bathroom. My leg like completely gave out on me. Boss, the do

g, helped me up by letting me support my weight on him. Once done my boyfriend had to lift me up and place me in the bed. He also rolled me over and just basically helped me get comfortable. He was such a huge help and I would have been so miserable if he wasn't there to help me out. My hip feels much better today though. I walked to the store with my friend and I've just been moving a lot better. The nurse sent me some stretches and I plan on doing a few of those before I go to sleep tonight. This hip pain is no joke though, it seriously hurt.

I'm glad I'm feeling much better though. I just hope it doesn't hurt like that tomorrow cuz I gotta go to work and make this MONEY!

Yep Yep

Wow, reading my last blog made me think..."Humm, I really said I wasn't ready for kids." Well thats out the door!

Yep, I am currently pregnant..27 weeks to be exact...and I'm loving it. I mean beside the pregnancy aches and pains, I really do enjoy feeling her moving around in there. Mentally I've been preparing myself for her arrival..oh yes I'm expecting a girl (team purple all the way) as well! :) Her due date is set for July 21st!

My boyfriend has been nothing less than supportive. He rubs my feet, puts lotion on my tummy, and even talks to her. He still feels weird talking to her (my belly), but he's slowly getting the hang of it. I can't believe that I'm almost in my 3rd trimester! Its so close! Many friends have given us baby things already and I'm more than happy to take anything!

Pains...oh yes...pains..well more like pain. My left hip has really started to kick into over drive with this pain. I mean its more like an ache, but it sucks because I'll just walking and my leg will just give out! Definitely not a good look as I'm walking around on campus! My nurse told me that it's common and I just need to stretch and make sure I keep exercising. Actually I'm going to have to start back since I did stop for a while. That might actually be why it has started hurting so seriously. I'll exercise and hopefully it'll help!

Sincerely,

To Be (Mom)

Second Thought

Well I do love my boyfriend so much and his dog...our dog...my dog...is annoying but I love him too very much. I like it when he cuddles up beside me when I'm sleeping because my boyfriend is at work or when I cry and he whines with me...some how that is so soothing. Its really cute too because he'll knock me with his nose and try to lick my face so that I'll stop crying. Usually its not anything major..I just tend to get emotional sometimes.

I do really love my boyfriend's dog..he just gets on my nerves.....but at the end of the day being without him wouldn't be an option because I'm in too deep and I would miss him oh so very much...

No kids

OMG!! Okay I love my boyfriend...he is amazing....but HIS DOG!!! OMG!! He is so damn annoying!! He gets on my damn nerves and he reminds me everyday of how NOT ready for kids I am. Yet I ask myself will I ever be ready for kids....assuming some people are not READY to be parents but things do happen.

Let's talk about this. His dog wakes us up around 7 or 8, even if we walked him really late the night before, it doesn't matter. He just wants us to woke up because HE feels its time for us to get up. This is SOOO annoying because if we had a late night, there is no sleeping in; well for my boyfriend yes because he can sleep through anything, but for me..NOPE! The dog will whine for NO DAMN REASON...just follow me around the house whining because he wants attention. He wont let me sleep because he is whining to get me to allow him to sleep in the bed. Just so damn spoiled!

Its just so hard sometimes because I care about my boyfriend and I enjoying being around his dog...sometimes...but a full time thing...is just not going to work right now for me. I know I'm selfish and really trying to do me, so that's why this is such a big problem for me. I need to be less selfish, but he is so annoying. He talks or does what he call "talking." He'll try so hard to talk to us when he is aggravated or bored, I just laugh and ask him to speak English since he wants to be heard. Those with pets may understand what I mean about the "talking" its just so strange, but at times so annoying. And it's crazy cuz I LOVE DOGS!! Thats all I've ever had my whole life, but this dog is spoiled beyond recognition. He'll whine if we don't share our food and sometimes he'll start barking at us! Can't even have anything romantic or sweet cuz he has to be in the mix or he'll start howling.

I need someone to just pray for me cuz PMSing right now and dealing with this dog is not going well.

Recap

Wow...things have really being picking up for me!!

So I have to hurry up and finish my test online so that I can start my training to become an assistant manager! I know exciting right?!? Well our computer is so sad at work, which means its going to take me longer to finish my test! The computer will freeze half way though my test or it'll keep repeating the same slides over and over again. Sometimes I reset the computer and other times I just give up!! This has been happening over the course of 3 weeks! I still have 8 more test to complete...I'll get it done!!

My love life has really been going in the right direction as well. We still have some bumps here and there but they have been far in between, which has made everything feel heaven like. Lately I've been reconnecting with some of my old friends. I've learned that I am very blessed to have such an understanding boyfriend, who is willing to work out any problem.

Let's Talk

I guess it doesn't take long for a person's true colors to show.....

Another friend of mine has seen the flaws that pushed me away from a mutual friend of ours. Now I know that we all have our own set of problems that make us the person we are today. Some of us are just naturally selfish while others are merely cocky. Either way there are things about us that either we choose to change or we just don't put forth the energy to see that we need to change something about ourselves. So she calls me up and just tells me whats been going on. How things have progressed from good to devastating. She was very upset and angery; which was very understanding since she got tried at work (which is a no no...never bring your personal trash into a professional environment) I listened to her because I knew what she was going through. It was weird listening at first because the things she said sounded so much like me...well things that I had said to my boyfriend..since at the time he was the only one I could really talk to about the situation. She told me how she was being treated and how she was being talked to. I wasn't very surprised but I was that things progressed enough to have an effect on her job. Yet we ended the conversation on a good note and she feels much better about the outcome of their friendship or lack of.

See in my situation I guess I should have seen the trend of past fallouts that our mutual friend had been into with other females. This probably should have been my first sign or red flag. I, at the time was just too naive and didn't pay any attention. I'm glad that I have distanced myself from her because my life has been moving in a positive direction! I don't have her negative pull on my life nor her thoughts of dreadful future.

I guess things really do happen for a reason and that call I got just showed me that I wasn't wrong in my decision to let that friendship go.....