Work at Trust

             Once trust has been taken out of a relationship it takes a lot of time and hard work to get it back. It doesn't happen over night and it actually takes work from both partners. Though many people feel that the one who caused the distrust (call them A) should do all the work, that is not true.
            See the other person (call them B) must also work to ensure that they are trying to trust the person again. B must not assume things and must stop looking at A under a microscope. B must also stop analyzing everything that A says and does. This may sound like a lot and it is but these things have to be done. Its not going to happen over night, but with time, B will be able to clear their mind of the thoughts and fearful feelings that have suddenly taken over.

            Now A has to do some work as well. They have to be an open book to B. They have to allow B to see their phone or emails when requested and not get upset if B is found sneaking into their personal things. At first this is going to be very hard for A, but they must believe that their actions have caused B to not believe anything they say nor do. If they allow B to see all these things then over time B will feel they have nothing to worry about and will become less suspicious. Yet if B keeps finding more things that make A look bad, then this is going to hinder the growth of trust.

1. So A needs to first decide if they want to be true to B or just end the relationship. 
2. Also B needs to decide if they are willing to work on trusting A or if its not worth it.
3. Finally and most importantly if the relationship is important to A then A must apologize to B and work on showing B daily how much they treasure their relationship. 

        Overall relationships require work and sometimes when bumps in the road happen, more work has to be involved but don't give up if its worth it...just put in more work.

Become Stronger

       My life isn't all bad and actually it is quite good as can be. Things have happened that I can't take back nor at this time wish to take back. Its like they say..what doesn't kill you does make you stronger. See all the things that I have been through have simply made me stronger and shown me who people truly are. Yes there has been many tears shed and many prayers have went up; but all in all its all good.

My Strong Leo and I

      My love has been doing a great job and has dramatically improved. Things have been so good and they continue to get better with each passing day. We truly are happy and our love is becoming deeper as it once was...actually deeper. This pain I've felt and still sadly feel has only proven that my love is merely human. He makes mistakes and all I can do is hope that he has learned from his mistakes. I'm praying that he has truly learned and will do things to make sure that never happens again. I can only accept it and move forward with my life. I also pray for strength because every day has it's challenges and the devil tempts me every day.
    Yes I will watch for the signs that all women watch for in their man, but I can't go crazy. I can't continue to drive myself crazy with worry and just fear for it happening again. I can't live like that and I can't let my daughter grow up with her mother acting like that. I want to show her how to trust her man and show him that she trusts him. I want her to be proud of her dad not sad because he caused her mom pain. I don't want her to see that. I've been getting better at checking my feelings and making sure I don't go off like I use to in the past. I guess its all a part of maturing and I'm starting to get to the point were its getting easier when I'm provoked.
   If you can relate then just work though it...if you feel it is worth it. If the person doesn't seem like they care and they are not at all regretful or they're doing the same shyt that they BEEN doing...then yea drop them!

Work n Love

Those two words should go together...Love and Work because they just do. 

       The love I have for my daughter makes me work hard to provide n care for her. The love I have for her pushes me to work with her, to ensure that she learns right from wrong. I want to help her but I also know she needs to do things on her own. I am so in love with my little girl! Seeing her brings me great joy. Don't get me wrong, at times I'm frustrated with her; even angry but I still love her.

LaShai and I

       The love I share for her father is a different t kind of love yet it still requires work as well. Daily work. Sometimes to save from having a pity argument I hold my tongue and don't speak. Everything shouldn't be about winning or losing, in a relationship it should be about what's best. Now there are moments when I MUST speak up for my own sanity! Lol

         See if you don't want to work at the love you have then I feel bad for your partner. I've been there...doing all the work and feeling so alone. It is really not a good feeling at all. Some days I feel like I'm back at square one and doing everything alone, but I know that is truly not the case. Yet is seems that way at times. Things have been improving between my daughter's father and I; hopefully they will continue to improve. I know things won't go back to before I found out because a piece of me that truly loved him died that day, but I think it can be better than what it is now. I actually believe that this can only make us stronger..well make me stronger. Only time will tell and with much prayer my feelings towards him will be more positive than their current negative.

I'll keep ya updated on my progress! :)

I Got This

        Help.. that's something I really need to get use to. I don't know why I find it hard to let my BF help me out with LaShai. Tonight my BF wanted to bathe her, now I love bath time but I let him since he has NEVER bathed her before. It felt weird watching him, but it was nice that he wanted to do it in the first place. So I walked him through everything and he actually did a great job!

        Now I didn't really need help but it was nice to receive it. I just like doing things my way and I think that's were my problem really lies. Oh and how I don't want people thinking I can't do things myself because I can! I have to work on that because we have a daughter now and she needs to know that BOTH her parents are here...not just mommy all the time. I don't try to push him away but I just want him to graduate and focus on finally finishing.
        So here is the kicker...I love being a "Stay At Home Mom!" It is simply great! I enjoy spending time with my daughter and not having to worry about interacting with rude customers all day. I'm not to thrilled about going to work tomorrow either, but I know we need to income to come in so that we can save up. I have a credit card I really need to pay off and my loans will start coming in for me to pay soon, so I need the least amount of bills as possible. My job isn't that bad, but staying at home all day with my daughter is just a dream job. I don't miss ANYTHING and I get to play with her. 3 or 4 days working out of 7 isn't all that bad either, so at least there will still be days that I'm home with her ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT...just sad that I can't just work from home...

Second Thought

Well I do love my boyfriend so much and his dog...our dog...my dog...is annoying but I love him too very much. I like it when he cuddles up beside me when I'm sleeping because my boyfriend is at work or when I cry and he whines with me...some how that is so soothing. Its really cute too because he'll knock me with his nose and try to lick my face so that I'll stop crying. Usually its not anything major..I just tend to get emotional sometimes.

I do really love my boyfriend's dog..he just gets on my nerves.....but at the end of the day being without him wouldn't be an option because I'm in too deep and I would miss him oh so very much...

No kids

OMG!! Okay I love my boyfriend...he is amazing....but HIS DOG!!! OMG!! He is so damn annoying!! He gets on my damn nerves and he reminds me everyday of how NOT ready for kids I am. Yet I ask myself will I ever be ready for kids....assuming some people are not READY to be parents but things do happen.

Let's talk about this. His dog wakes us up around 7 or 8, even if we walked him really late the night before, it doesn't matter. He just wants us to woke up because HE feels its time for us to get up. This is SOOO annoying because if we had a late night, there is no sleeping in; well for my boyfriend yes because he can sleep through anything, but for me..NOPE! The dog will whine for NO DAMN REASON...just follow me around the house whining because he wants attention. He wont let me sleep because he is whining to get me to allow him to sleep in the bed. Just so damn spoiled!

Its just so hard sometimes because I care about my boyfriend and I enjoying being around his dog...sometimes...but a full time thing...is just not going to work right now for me. I know I'm selfish and really trying to do me, so that's why this is such a big problem for me. I need to be less selfish, but he is so annoying. He talks or does what he call "talking." He'll try so hard to talk to us when he is aggravated or bored, I just laugh and ask him to speak English since he wants to be heard. Those with pets may understand what I mean about the "talking" its just so strange, but at times so annoying. And it's crazy cuz I LOVE DOGS!! Thats all I've ever had my whole life, but this dog is spoiled beyond recognition. He'll whine if we don't share our food and sometimes he'll start barking at us! Can't even have anything romantic or sweet cuz he has to be in the mix or he'll start howling.

I need someone to just pray for me cuz PMSing right now and dealing with this dog is not going well.

Recap

Wow...things have really being picking up for me!!

So I have to hurry up and finish my test online so that I can start my training to become an assistant manager! I know exciting right?!? Well our computer is so sad at work, which means its going to take me longer to finish my test! The computer will freeze half way though my test or it'll keep repeating the same slides over and over again. Sometimes I reset the computer and other times I just give up!! This has been happening over the course of 3 weeks! I still have 8 more test to complete...I'll get it done!!

My love life has really been going in the right direction as well. We still have some bumps here and there but they have been far in between, which has made everything feel heaven like. Lately I've been reconnecting with some of my old friends. I've learned that I am very blessed to have such an understanding boyfriend, who is willing to work out any problem.

Let's Talk

I guess it doesn't take long for a person's true colors to show.....

Another friend of mine has seen the flaws that pushed me away from a mutual friend of ours. Now I know that we all have our own set of problems that make us the person we are today. Some of us are just naturally selfish while others are merely cocky. Either way there are things about us that either we choose to change or we just don't put forth the energy to see that we need to change something about ourselves. So she calls me up and just tells me whats been going on. How things have progressed from good to devastating. She was very upset and angery; which was very understanding since she got tried at work (which is a no no...never bring your personal trash into a professional environment) I listened to her because I knew what she was going through. It was weird listening at first because the things she said sounded so much like me...well things that I had said to my boyfriend..since at the time he was the only one I could really talk to about the situation. She told me how she was being treated and how she was being talked to. I wasn't very surprised but I was that things progressed enough to have an effect on her job. Yet we ended the conversation on a good note and she feels much better about the outcome of their friendship or lack of.

See in my situation I guess I should have seen the trend of past fallouts that our mutual friend had been into with other females. This probably should have been my first sign or red flag. I, at the time was just too naive and didn't pay any attention. I'm glad that I have distanced myself from her because my life has been moving in a positive direction! I don't have her negative pull on my life nor her thoughts of dreadful future.

I guess things really do happen for a reason and that call I got just showed me that I wasn't wrong in my decision to let that friendship go.....

EX marks the Spot

I must study!! I really must, well I have been studying some but I need to step things up. My exam is tomorrow and its so much information! OMG! I'll get it most, big emphasis on most, of the information absorbed but not ALL of it.

Well the issue at hand is that my ex is having a party this Saturday to celebrate his birthday. Now normally I just wouldn't go and just chill-out at home, but I kind of actually want to go. Yet I don't want my current boyfriend to get upset or anything. He told me that he feels some type of way about him, but its a party! I mean its going to be tons of people so the likely hood of us having much interaction isn't even going to be in the equation. I'll go and sip on some great drinks and bring it back home...after all I do have work Sunday morning at 6am!!

I Choose....That One

Someone should have really told me that Love involves you putting work in. You can't think of yourself all the time and you have to be the bigger person in majority of the situations. Now in all actuality, it may feel like your always stepping to the side in situations when your partner may actually be thinking the same thing to themselves.

I'm at the point where I'm simpling choosing my fights and choosing my arguments. Some are just worthless and will get us no where. Those are the ones that I struggle to just let go, why? I've grown to discover that a part of me likes to be very argumentative, even in the smallest of disagreements. My boyfriend and I have only had two or three real arguments but we surly love having tiny disagreements. I like to think of arguments as being so violent, while disagreements just well it sounds better less serious! haha anyway I find myself just sighing to myself and just taking a deep breathe. It really does work and if you find yourself getting worked up, you should really try it! It has saved me from getting into a worthless argument many a time!

Please people just think before you speak and ask yourself....is this something that I really want to stand by? Is it that important to me? If your answer is yes, then by all means stand up and just say what is on your mind; but if it is not....well just take a deep breathe inward and just relax. Relax your voice and calm your nerves; especially if you see yourself being with this person for a long time and I mean a LONG time.

Does it Work?

I normally don't speak on relationships so much but it's February...the month of Love!

The interesting thing about relationships is the "what's next" factor. All relationships reach that point... whether both partners are beginning to ask themselves that or merely one. We all want to know.. "Does my relationship have what it takes to turn into a long-term commitment or is this just something to do to pass the time." I've never been one to have a relationship that was "just for fun." I never saw the point in it and I never wanted to just "play relationship" as some people do. (I guess that's why my heart has been broken a few times....I'm hoping the right one has finally come to me) but let me continue.

So when your relationship does reach that point because you do eventually think about the future....questions begin to pop into your head. "Can I deal with how he clips his toes in the bed...Or can I deal with the amount of drool she leaves on the pillow.." Haha the list can just go on. Then deeper questions come into play such as "Do we work well together....will he/she make a good parent...can I live with this person for the rest of my life." In order to help out in this matter, there are hundreds of sites that help people figure out if their current relationship has what it takes to go the mile. I've stumbled onto a webpage 10 Qualities of Great Marriages | hitched: (I know it says marriage but if your serious about your relationship you should eventually want it to go in that direction right; wouldn't you like to check and see if your current relationship posses the top 10 qualities to make it)...

After ready the article some key words stood out to me "Friendship" and "Communication." These qualities are so important to me because once you have a solid friendship with someone, its so easy to talk to them! You feel more comfortable telling them your fears, weakness, and how you truly feel about different situations. I think they go hand in hand myself. Once your relationship has a strong sense of friendship...the communication should come naturally. I mean best friend type of friendship...The kind that you tell everything to!

If you don't feel that my two qualities are that important then check out the site and see which ones you feel are important to you. Or better yet...which 10 qualities does your relationship have.....all or just some....