Happy

       Woke up feeling great! Miss. L laying next to me and she looks so cute! She is just growing like crazy and already she thinks she is grown; telling me no and walking away from me.
       I'm enjoying being a mommy!

Insight in me

Your dominant sense is SIGHT - Your dominant sense - soFeminine.co.uk: "emotional: you're quick to spot and feel other people's�emotions, and you're good at telling what people are thinking.�You feel their joy or pain easily and it affects you."

This is so me!! I can feel when people are upset and it DOES really bother me. Its like their emotions become mine...

Work n Love

Those two words should go together...Love and Work because they just do. 

       The love I have for my daughter makes me work hard to provide n care for her. The love I have for her pushes me to work with her, to ensure that she learns right from wrong. I want to help her but I also know she needs to do things on her own. I am so in love with my little girl! Seeing her brings me great joy. Don't get me wrong, at times I'm frustrated with her; even angry but I still love her.

LaShai and I

       The love I share for her father is a different t kind of love yet it still requires work as well. Daily work. Sometimes to save from having a pity argument I hold my tongue and don't speak. Everything shouldn't be about winning or losing, in a relationship it should be about what's best. Now there are moments when I MUST speak up for my own sanity! Lol

         See if you don't want to work at the love you have then I feel bad for your partner. I've been there...doing all the work and feeling so alone. It is really not a good feeling at all. Some days I feel like I'm back at square one and doing everything alone, but I know that is truly not the case. Yet is seems that way at times. Things have been improving between my daughter's father and I; hopefully they will continue to improve. I know things won't go back to before I found out because a piece of me that truly loved him died that day, but I think it can be better than what it is now. I actually believe that this can only make us stronger..well make me stronger. Only time will tell and with much prayer my feelings towards him will be more positive than their current negative.

I'll keep ya updated on my progress! :)

They said YES

OMG!! WE GOT THE APARTMENT!!

      We shall be moving on to good ole' Jacksonville in July!! We have been searching for an apartment complex who would allow us to move in without jobs...it has been so hard! We have been to over 30 complexes in Jacksonville but none would allow us to move in without having some kind of income coming in first. I'm not upset because it makes sense..people want to make sure they are going to get paid.
      But we found this wonderful complex who is going to let us pay 5 months rent up front and we can move on in. Now we do plan on getting jobs once we are there, but every other place wanted us to have jobs already and that wasn't happening any time soon. Now I am all smiles and happy.

On to Jacksonville we go...at the end of July of course..but at-least we have an apartment now!! :)

Moving Forward...

        Sometimes life just gets hard but you gotta keep moving forward. Heart-break and torn but still moving on with life. Yes I want the lovely family photo and the good life but only time will tell.
       My daughter is now walking and we are all moving. Yes future hubby, wonderful daughter, n I shall be leaving Tally! So yes my life is about to change yet again but I'm ready. My mind is more open yet my heart is more closed but everything has it's gives n takes.....right?

I Got This

        Help.. that's something I really need to get use to. I don't know why I find it hard to let my BF help me out with LaShai. Tonight my BF wanted to bathe her, now I love bath time but I let him since he has NEVER bathed her before. It felt weird watching him, but it was nice that he wanted to do it in the first place. So I walked him through everything and he actually did a great job!

        Now I didn't really need help but it was nice to receive it. I just like doing things my way and I think that's were my problem really lies. Oh and how I don't want people thinking I can't do things myself because I can! I have to work on that because we have a daughter now and she needs to know that BOTH her parents are here...not just mommy all the time. I don't try to push him away but I just want him to graduate and focus on finally finishing.
        So here is the kicker...I love being a "Stay At Home Mom!" It is simply great! I enjoy spending time with my daughter and not having to worry about interacting with rude customers all day. I'm not to thrilled about going to work tomorrow either, but I know we need to income to come in so that we can save up. I have a credit card I really need to pay off and my loans will start coming in for me to pay soon, so I need the least amount of bills as possible. My job isn't that bad, but staying at home all day with my daughter is just a dream job. I don't miss ANYTHING and I get to play with her. 3 or 4 days working out of 7 isn't all that bad either, so at least there will still be days that I'm home with her ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT...just sad that I can't just work from home...

Welcome Little One

So LaShai is here!! She is too too cute and just my little mini me!!

Seriously she is!! She is dramatic, active, hyper, and goofy....all the things her mommy is! :)

She was born July 26, 2011 at 12:25am. I know I'm late putting it up here, but things have really been moving and I've been pretty busy being a new mommy!!

I'm loving my new mom status! Some days are tough especially during her growth spurts but things are all good. She is exclusively on breastmilk so things get interesting when she wants to pull up to the breasturant every hour, so I pump as well. I've been doing well so far and I finally start work soon! Lets see how that goes...